HELMET GUY
(Words and music by R.
HUGHES)
Here I am; two miles in, too many miles to go
People been pointin’, people been laughin’. I’m dying, leave
me alone!
Why is everyone staring at me? Can’t they tell I’m almost
done?
Then some guy tells me as he runs by, “Hey Bud, you got your
helmet on!”
[chorus]
Now, I’m on the run. Helmet on
Race number’s at T2 on the ground
Miles gone, my legs are done
Should I really turn around?
Should I go back and get my number?
No! Forget the number.
No! Forget the number.
No! Forget the number.
Helmet guy’s headin’ to the finish line…
This is not as bad as that nasty race when my goggles
disappeared
Some first time, Bigfoot, breaststroke guy’s big hoof
scraped ‘em off my head
I stopped and looked but no goggles. So bare-faced I started
again
And as I tried to swim back around Bigfoot, he puked right
where I swam
He yakked, I yakked, we almost drown
We hacked and backstroked back to solid ground
And he chuckled as he wobbled ashore. He was headin’ back to
the IHOP for more…
[chorus]
I’ve had a broken wetsuit zipper. Got cut out; $700 bucks
gone
I’ve had a double flat and one spare. Walked barefoot, three
hours long
I’ve been passed by every age group, every gender; swim,
bike, and run
I’ve been dusted by a little girl on a Huffy
So bein’ Helmet Guy’s almost fun
And I’m not turnin’ around…
[chorus]